Blue Moooooooon -dance-

New pics of Janika. Not all of the new ones but a couple of my princess! Isn't she beautiful!!!???

So I hear there is to be a blue moon tomorrow? Eh? Is it actually blue or is it the really really really white one? I'll have to Google that as I'm too impaitent to wait for an answer lmao!

So I'm not going out tomorrow. :( I'm staying home as my hunnie gets out of work early so we can bring in the new year together. I will make up for the missed drinking opportunity though. True dat!

Everyone has posted their blessings this year. So I'll post some.

I'm blessed we are still together. I'm surprised Adam hasn't left me years ago. I am so difficult to live with. Especially without my meds. Did I really say that? Yes. I was raised correctly to have manners and can be nice but man I'm a bitch. :) He is the best and I love him.

I am thankful for my family. My mummy. I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! You are my bestest best friend ever and the greatest mum ever. My brother. How I love thee. The littlest brother I mean. haha. He is an amazing 9 yr old with the weight of the world under his belt already. My cousins who are like my sisters. I mean Robin and Nicole. I love you guys and I wish you'd move back down here. My grandma, my Tootsie Pop. :) My aunt Jules you are the best and my heart belongs to you. My uncle Al thank you for keeping me informed and willing to deal with me and become closer. Krissy and Nevaeh- my sister from anotha mother and father and my Goddaughter. My angels. I love you guys so much. My brother Chase, thank you for being my best friend and giving me my niece. I love you. My dad, stepmum, Maw Maw, other lil brother Hunter, Ethan, Justin, Doug, Linda, Jericha, Amber, Annie Kris, Heath, Regina, Rodney, Courtney, Clinton, Sue and other family members who I'm forgetting ATM I love you!

To my cousin Zachary. Zack. Zacharyabooboo. I am so thankful for the last 21 years we had together. I will miss you for the rest of my life. I love you. RIP (I promise I will learn to play poker and win Texas Hold'em for you)

This year has shown me how strong I am even when I cry from the pain. That I can handle stuff (safe from my home) and not kill myself. I surprise myself. Now if I was working with no meds then I wouldn't handle anything at all. But this has reminded me how strong I am. And that I can quit smoking (but relapsed thanks Adam) and stick to a lifestyle change and exercise 1-3 hours a day. I can do it.

Sooooo I'll be really really really happy to see this year go (sober to boot :( ) and I'm anxious for what the new year brings. Fingers and toes crossed. :)

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/brandehhh

Yes random I know. Haha.

Rockin' Robin - 10 years of shits and giggles

This is my personal compilation of the last decade (I'll probably MISS alot but eh I'm not patient).

What were your faves? Your hates? Any great memories?

Of the Personal Sort

1. My son- while he was born Dec 1, 99 technically today it is ten years still lmao

2. My brother- Feb 22, 00- this lil boy, my bubbin, saved my life. He is my angel.

3. The move to Florida- June 01- Wow is all I can say about this haha

4. My Goddaughter- Nevaeh Marie Eagan- April 15 03

5. My car accident- March 26, 2004- the morning that ruined my life forever

6. Adam- June 12, 04- the love of my life, still goin strong, surprisingly.

7. Our baby- Dec 28, 04- Feb 8, 05- a miscarriage

8. Smokey- born March 5 05- adopted July 11 05 I love my puppy :)

And now in 09 going into 10 hopefully life will look up. As soon as I get my drugs haha.

Outside My Bubble

WTF was up with Y2K? Everyone spazzes for fun?

~September 11, 2001

What a horrid day. Horrible horrible horrible people. I almost lost my aunt and uncle that day. RIP all the victims of that day and everyone since then fighting for our country.

~Hurricane Katrina and other major hurricanes and storms

Even years of war does not even touch the devastation that a natural disaster can cause.

~The election of an African-American President (and the nomination of a female canidate)

Proving to white men that women and other ethnic groups can rule just as well or even better.

(I have a really bad memory, I'm sorry if I'm forgetting a lot of stuff)

~The heroes of the past decades- I thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for your awesomesaucyness! Even if you don't consider yourself a hero, you made/make differences in the world.

~Michael Jackson - Enough said. Rest In Peace the King of Pop

~Animal Cops - I HATE animal abusers but love the shows! Thank you for bringing more awareness to the plight of animals domestic and exotic.

~American Idol - I love this show! You don't have to be a bodybuilder or a Playboy model to make it in the business. Just great talent! (And thank you for Kelly Clarkson, Carrie underwood and Adam Lambert)

~MySpace, Facebook and Twitter - How I love thee!

~Usher's 'Yeah!' - I LOVE this song! The only song I yearned for the whole time I was in the hospital. I can listen to it over and over and over again!

~JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE- What a sexy mother fucker. Amazing artist, awesome human being, freakin funny, and soooo good in concert!

~Thank God Metallica and Aerosmith did not break up. Can you tell I LOVE music?

~The ending of TRL and music videos being played on Vh1, MTV and any other music channel. Wait they're not music channels anymore. Reality 24/ fucking 7

~Lady Gaga, The Roots, EMINEM, Kayne West (ya asshole!), Kings of Leon, Rihanna, Nickelback and various other artists who broke out this year/decade or became big.

~All the local bands that I love! Diamond Gray, Retribution formerly Retrovein, Kilo, LiveWire and Tantrum! Awesome bands and they love me even with my crazy drunkeness.

~All the stupid fucks (the cop who smoked weed then called 911), the terrorists/extremists, Spiedi, and any other idiot who made news interesting this year. Except the terrorists/extremists-Rot in Hell

~Reality tv- the stupid ass entertainment. Especially when regular programming started sucking so much.

~The worst-- the woman who caused the 13 yr old to kill herself- shame on you (for example), the animal abusers, the child abusers, rapists, thieves, greedy mother fuckers, stupid people who spread diseases and STDs like candy.

~Last but not least- the economy. Oh lordy be.

Aaaand like I said I probably forgot tons like I usually do. But eh. There's always edit.

My niece Nov 30 09 I LOVE YOUMy first and possibly own niece for years (two younger brothers ages 9 and 11) or ever. ;)

Zachary Ryan Cleek 11-8-88 to 12-16-09
I still can't believe Zack is gone. Like an ache, a hole in the heart, a missing limb that still hurts. He's not here. Like I wake up and everything feels normal and then I see his face in that coffin in my mind's eye and it all comes back to me. I can't believe it. I swore I saw his hand move after I kissed it at his viewing. My handsomw 21 yr old cousin forever young and gangsta. I love you Zack.

I hope you enjoyed my lil pile of recaps. :)

~And I forgot something! Senator ted Kennedy. I have an older post about him. -points- RIP

Maintenance?

Yeah lame title.

But I'll be on and updating. Go me?

Yesyesyesyes I know.

It might look a lil different. I was trying to fix the CSS reflex thingy below and just cleared the whole template and started over. Hahaha Would have been easier if I'd known Ctrl+F is the same on Google Chrome.

So it'll be a lil different. Might add more shit or what not.

For others who use Google Chrome-shortcuts

Police in Western Pennsylvania Say William Woodson Kicked His Girlfriend's Puppy to Death

Police in Western Pennsylvania Say William Woodson Kicked His Girlfriend's Puppy to Death

Totally fucked up. I'm so tired of hearing about people abusing animals! Parents need to stop kids when they're young not to abuse animals cuz when they become adults we get dog abusers, rapers, cat fuckers whatever. People who abuse animals have no soul.

Merry Christmas lovely bitches

Merry Christmas everyone!

Yes, I've been slacking but this has been a VERY hard two weeks and Christmas. I'll be back on and blogging soon enough.

Zachary Ryan Cleek

This is Zack's obit page. It'll be online til 1/20/10 then my aunt and uncle get it printed out. Please sign it if you can/want. My aunt and incle would really appreciate it!!!!!

RIP ZACHARY RYAN CLEEK

11-8-88 12-16-09

Sorry guys I got my wireless up and running on Tuesday and BAM!!! get woken up on Wednesday to the news that my 1st cousin is dead at the age of 21.

It hurts so bad that he's no longer here. I miss him soooooooooo much. His sister and our grandma and my brother were just here visiting me and we talked and cried over Zack. My Zacharyabooboo

It's been a crazy couple of days. I left the house for the first time today to take the garbage out. My other cousin Nicole, Zack's sister, our grandma and my little brother came up to see me and check on me. I'm going to grandma's tomorrow to spend a couple days with the family.

My cousin was such a great guy. Yes I wanted to strangle him at times over the drugs and shit but I loved that boy like he was my kid. He was my party buddy and my poker partner. He'd always ask me when could he come over to hang with me and Adam. There was this one day I went to his house to see him and he was alert, his eyes were clear, he was talking normal. He wasn't on anything. I was so happy to have Zack back I almost started crying on his porch. And now I've lost him forever. My poor aunt and uncle. OMG... Nicole now saya she will never have kids because losing Zack hurts too much and just imagine if she lost a kid like my aunt has...

And it wasn't a drug overdose. He was severly epileptic and couldnt work because of it nor could he get Medicare because he still lived at home with my aunt. And his meds were EXPENSIVE. And he was denied medicine if he couldn't pay. I hope his fucking doctor is feeling really good right now for being such a greedy bitch and killing a kid.

I can't post this video here as it's not mine but one of Zack's friends dedicated this to him, he's in it the only white boy lol. They made it Monday two days before he died.

RIP ZACK

Please watch it. Explicit language warning though.

I LOVE YOU ZACK!!!!!

So WIN

I can't believe I put that.....

Lmao. So I'm on my new laptop. On my porch getting Wi-Fi til my router comes.

I'm so excited!! I dunno why. I'm such a nerd. :)

Eeeeeeeh!

Adam bought me a laptop!!!! Yeaaaaaa! So I do my blog from home! Yay! I'm excited!

More Janika

More pics of my princess! Isn't she the CUTEST lil thing?

Injustice of child abuse

Last Thanksgiving, actually a week before, in 2008 when my brother was 8 our step grandfather shoved a coat hanger down his throat. Leading up to that Jimmy would punch Jared or hit him or slap him on the back or trip or call him a stupid fuck and various other names and tell him he's a piece of shit and needs to die.

My brother got blamed for it.

Now Jimmy is out on bond (the court lowered his bail, 15k was put up)and living like 100 yards away behind the house. Which he isn't allowed to be ANYWHERE near Jared per his bail and a restraining order. He calls all the time even when Jared's home, comes to the house, makes nasty comments and has my grandmother so mentally abused and brainwashed she worships the ground he walks on and thinks Jared is the devil. They even tried evicting my mum which they can't do as they don't own the house and my mum pays rent and electric.

How come a now 9 year old is being blamed for being abused? Is the sick old man (who has been arrested for cocaine and DUIS yes multiple he just got out months before the incident after serving 5 years in jail. He has no license but drives. And drinks.) Why does Jimmy not get in more trouble? Why is a child just being pushed aside like he's trash? Jimmy thinks of himself as above the law. Our family supports Jimmy. But if this had happened to Ethan or the baby Jayden they'd kill Jimmy. But they can't support Jared? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

Fucked up Christmas presents

So I had to share. LOL enjoy

Click meeeee

JANIKA MACIE EVETT BOUTELLE

MY BEAUTIFUL NIECE!!!!

Janika was born November 30th, 2009 at 8am CST weighing in 7.10 lbs and 20 inches long. Chase (my brother, her daddy)being a first time daddy and a big softie, cried when she was born. Lela, Chase's gf, is in the bottom pic with Janika.

I have been waiting AAAAALL year for this baby to come and she's finally here! Except she's in Alabama and I'm in Florida. :( But I get to meet her soon!

Love TOUJOURS
Auntie Brandy

(I'm an auntie! Augh! :D)

So....

This post will be LONG. With entries from my hard copy journal.

POLITICAL ASPIRATIONS

(If I even spelled that right)

(written 8-29-09)

Senator Edward M (Teddy) Kennedy died last week. Today was his funeral/memorial. An American hero; who fought for the poor, the weak, the forgotten, the depriced. What an inspiration.

Before my accident, when I was still in school, I wanted to get a law degree to go into ploitics. Then I changed my mind for the Army (to be a MP then a police officer). After my accident I didn't know what I was going to do with the rest of my fucked up life.

To be President used to be a dream, to make a difference, since I was little. But now that's like impossible. Presidents (or President hopefuls) are so persecuted, and ripped apart to make sure they are innocent and lily white. Which isn't fair. A lot of Americans would politicans to be more personable, to actually have life experiences like the rest of country. But that's not what happens. They have to be religious even though church and state are supposed to be seperate. And people assassinate presidents because they are not God and has to make decisions for the whole country not individuals. So my parents are divorced. My dad is an alcoholic and former drug user. Same with my mum. I was a whore as a child. I had a child while I was still a child; underage and unmarried. My mum has an illegetimate child. Drugs, sex, cussing, Taking the Lord's name in vain, obsessed with drinking all kinds of crap that would become fodder to use against me. A whole bunch of life experiences that aren't pretty. And now I'm disabled and have health problems and will always have them and more. I would be judged beyond belief. What kind of American dream is that.

Next best thing? To become a senator. But how do you do that? To be a senator, I could make all the differences I want. Help young girls/women, stop drunk driving, fight for and help children, families and young people who need help, help abuse victims and devastating accident victims, save/help animals; to name a few. The foundations I want to start. And have a job that is not physically trying, but emotionally and mentally challenging. My way of serving my country even though I can not go into the military. What would my legacy be? That ANYONE (rich, poor, pretty, ugly, whoever) can do whatever they dream? That females ARE equal? That depression and suicide aren't the answer and that yes mental illness is REAL? Would my grandma be proud? Wuld my dad? That I'm not a fuck-up? Would I make myself proud?

It'll be a long hard road, but so worth it. The challenge is exciting. I love challenges and problems. I love to learn and to help.



ACTUALLY I'm not going to post anymore from my journal. Lots of cussing and very very very angry. :)

For your info

I don't update very much. Obviously.

The email app on my phone like puts 0000000 in multiple email address slots that I can't erase so I can never send any updates from my phone.

I can't wait til I get a laptop.

Aaaaaand I haven't used HTML in months. I am so rusty. Sorry if this blog looks dorky or lame!!!!